I'm only 21 but I have felt so much hurt from my insanely fucked up relationship that ended not too long ago. Sometimes I'm afraid that all I am now is broken merchandise. A piece of trash that was played with, broken and returned because it was no longer useful. I'm not good enough to go back out on the shelves of the store because why put out a broken merchandise when there's plenty of good ones in stock? Do you think the hurt will subside? How do I go on?
It’s about to get real serious on this Friday afternoon…
First off, I’m not trying to minimize your hurt or your experiences but I think we all go through troubles and hurt in our lives. Part of living life is to allow others to enter into our own and believe it or not, more people will hurt you in the process of living than help you live.
It sounds like what you need is to find your identity. You are looking at yourself from the third person perspective because you have diminished your identity as “broken merchandise,” when in reality we are all sinners and broken and in need of our everyday savior.
Understand this; we are ALL in the backroom waiting to be repaired. No one is perfect. We are all made in the image of God but broken in more ways than we can imagine. No one is out there on the shelves. We are all in queue to be glued up, repaired, fixed up, dusted off and being prepped to go out on the shelves of the store.
You are stronger than you think my friend. Who are you to tell yourself that you are not good enough? Jesus has called us to walk with him. Will you have the audacity to refuse him because you think you know better?
Do not be fearful of not being good enough to “go back out on the shelves of the store” because that fear will confine you to your past and limit your future.
Embrace this everyday struggle and recognize that we are all broken. Embrace the struggle to learn who you are. You are NOT broken. Recognize, learn, embrace, acknowledge that. Know that you have been called with the strength that is already in you. If you sit in the corner crying over what happened, how will you know what you are REALLY worth? Take what you have now, and show yourself the strength that you already posses.
There’s a saying that “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” But I think it is quite the opposite; God willalways give us more than we can handle because that is how we learn to depend on and appreciate his love/grace/strength.
I read this quote the other day; “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s own wings.”
I think that is a very powerful quote. Don’t lean on the things of this world and don’t put your trust in the people or things of this world. As far as the bird relying on her own wings; we have to rely on ourselves but that only comes from a strong, solid foundation that can only come from having a real relationship with God.
The struggle is what makes us strong. We cannot rely on our own understandings and the methods of this world. Know that God is doing more than you or I can ever understand. Know that when we are at our worst, God is at his best. His strength is made perfect in your weakness. So stop trying to forget about what happened to you. Don’t try to minimize it. Don’t tell yourself you’re too good for it. Embrace it. Until you embrace your weakness and hurt, you will never fully appreciate God’s strength.
On a more personal note; I pray every single day for God to heal my wounds and make me into the man he has planned for me. Hurt is hurt, but there is comfort in knowing Jesus. Don’t pray for an uncluttered mind/heart. Rather, pray for his presence in the midst of all the hurt, pain, doubt, insecurities and confusion in your life. Pray for his hand to touch you in the place you feel the weakest. Don’t pray for a bandaid to just cover up the wound. You need the ointment that will heal the cut just as much as you need the bandaid to cover it up. Allow Jesus to enter your life as you are now. He meets us where we are.
I hope you have a great weekend!
Alex & Oliver
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
i’ll always love you ‘cause we grew up together and you helped make me who i am. i just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and i’m grateful for that. whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, i’m sending you love. you’re my friend to the end.
— her (2013)
10 word story #2 by E.K.
You must not reduce yourself to a puddle just because the person you like is afraid to swim and you are a fierce sea to them; because there will be someone who was born with love of the waves within their blood, and they will look at you with fear and respect.
T.B. LaBerge // Things I’m Still Learning at 25 (via tblaberge)
what would you do if your tumblr crushed moved to NYC and admitted she was totally into you too
Same thing that happens to any two people anywhere who are totally into each other…
Spend some time together and then eventually hurt each other.